Eternity...

"Why should I stay here? Why should I stay" - a deep melancholic and ominous voice called out to me. The call reverberated and varied in intensity as though the voice was swaying around me like a ghost. I tried to open my eyes, but just like the many things in my life, I only partially succeeded. I saw ghostly forms in reddish hue, like the wind whipped clouds during an unusually bright sunset. The bright transient shapes, the haunting voice and my increasingly lucid sensations, despite my now almost paralytic physical senses prompted one thing to me - Nirvana. I smiled, smiled like an enlightened monk. I found answers to the questions that eluded me all my life. I moved out of my body and flew effortlessly, with arms wide spread. I was transcending higher, crossing the intangible boundaries between mental and physical states - of thought and action, of real and surreal. Just like the first rays of light clear frost from the leaves, undeveloped thoughts of my past were getting clearer with each passing moment - washed by the new found rays of enlightenment.

During this process of self-cleansing, a particular image from the past seized my senses. As I stared at it, it grew on me. If each emotion can be represented by a spectrum of light, this particular image acted like a prism and produced a bright array of colors, unlike any I have ever seen before. Is this real or just a projection of my sheer willingness to see her, my vulnerability magnified and exposed? But then what is reality, if not the manifestation of our thoughts in to physical and metaphysical, maybe even the paranormal? Past is imagined and then projected on to the theater of our mind – constructed from half remembered thoughts and blurry images. Isn’t then present an imagination of our future selves? This is paradoxical as long as we assume that we live in a world where past, present and future occur in that order. What if our mind works in a different dimension, in which this is not the natural order of things? Does this coupled with the fact that there is no absolute reality, just as there is no absolute space and time, makes everything imaginary?

With the newfound clarity of thought, came a renewed sense of purpose. I snapped free from the shackles of the present and drifted effortlessly towards Shalini in a state of mental meditation. She looked at me intently – her gaze so intense, that I for a moment mistook it for indifference. As I grew closer to her, I could see myself transforming in to my younger self – to a time when we were together and to a place that I felt I no longer knew. Have you ever seen two white clouds approaching each other in a blue sky – how they coalesce, unify, become one and then transform in to nothing? But the fleeting time during which they come together and unify is timeless – fleeting from the perspective of the viewer, but in a dimension that only they know, the feeling is eternal  - time stops. Think of black holes, where time stops because of the gravitational field. From the perspective of the viewer, anything approaching and unifying with black holes is consumed and destroyed instantaneously. Reality as seen from within the black hole though is eternal.  

After what felt like an eternity, I was finally close to her. I pulled her closer to me, in fact so close that I could feel the slight convulsions in her body, to which now I was as much a part of as the reason. I ran my fingers on her soft arms, with the other hand pulling her closer, ever closer, to me. I stared in to her eyes, stared in to them so intently that I was getting lost in the complex matrix of brown crater like formations. As if rescuing me, she ran her fingers down my hair, pulled me back and started kissing me, kissing me with a passion that was primitive and wild. Like two primordial and wild beasts, we were over each other, playing a dangerous game of love and passion. As the feelings grew stronger, I could see her and me drifting away, disappearing in to the void and I could no longer see us…

PS- I woke up with a heavy head. Despite the pain, I smiled as I realized that she and me were making love for eternity, in a dimension untouched by and unknown to anyone. Inspired by Laxmi, Thom Yorke and Einstein...