Destiny and Happiness..

It was a heavenly sight. The sky above was as clear as my mother’s thoughts and the stars like her eyes seemed to shine brighter than ever, as though to outshine my inner darkness. A cool breeze flew sending a chill down my spine, but it was strangely comforting. My vision was blurred and there I was, lying on the Ocean bed with the thoughts of a lifetime around me. Emotions overflowed from within and filled the void around me. The Ocean bed resembled my mother’s lap, the stars her eyes and the Universe her face. The cold and comforting cool breeze was like my dad – all pervasive and filling my senses. They were a testimony to my existence on earth and ironically the very same people (in the form of Universe) stand as an alibi in my death. As soon as the realization struck me, there was a bright light and everything was illuminated. I could sense myself melting and being in oneness with the Universe. I felt weightless. This wasn’t death I conjured, this was rebirth.

   There was a sudden jolt and I opened my eyes. I realized that my flight just had an emergency landing at the Mumbai Airport. That explains the weightlessness, screamed the logical dude inside me. But the dream was no coincidence, this I was very much sure of. God doesn’t play dice with the Universe, there had to be some special reason why I was here in Mumbai. Instantly I decided to spend a day in Mumbai.

   As soon as I came out of the Airport, I checked my messages and one particular message brought a smile on my lips. It read – ‘Someone is missing the bastard badly. Love you’. It was from Shalini - my fiancé.  She was bubbly and smart, but was sometimes a pain nonetheless. We were madly in love and that explains it all. I hired a cab and reached the continental, hoping for a day of solace and introspection. In the mad rush of racing ahead and the adamant focus on reaching the destination we tend to leave our inner self behind and in the course of time, we lose our identity. To be in oneness with my inner self, I needed my days of solitude and this was just one of them.

   I reached my hotel and slipped in to my Boxers - I guess to fight with my own thoughts. It was raining outside and I missed her. She had this strange fantasy of sitting on the balcony wall, with my arms wrapped around her for support and getting kissed wildly. I not only loved the idea, I took it to next level and made her go wild. I had to persuade her to get down after that because not just she, even I was losing control and I couldn’t afford to let her down (literally!). Putting aside her thoughts, I went in to the balcony, stood in the rain and closed my eyes. I could see the rain drops drifting down my bare chest and for reasons unknown, I felt relieved. I felt all my inhibitions being washed away and felt pure and blessed. Bryan Adams was playing in the background. I came inside and had a warm shower. I had friends in Mumbai, but decided not to meet anyone. I instead preferred a walk along the Marine Drive. I came out of the hotel and hired a taxi.

   Rain subsided, but the clouds still hovered as if to assert their existence, just like our ego. The old buildings along the Dadar road felt as vintage as old wine and everything looked surreal. I closed my eyes and tried to feel the smell of earth around me. Earth looked like a newly wed beautiful bride in Green and one couldn’t help, but be blown by her beauty. Mumbai in the monsoons has to be seen, to be believed. I got down at Marine Drive and decided to have a stroll. It was amazing to see the fury of the seas. One can’t help, but realize how miniscule our lives and problems are, compared to eternal vastness of the universe. Philosophy and rains go hand in hand, I guess.

   And then, the unexpected happened. I saw her. She was facing the sea and despite the dark clouds, her face glowed. I was hit by the waves of Nostalgia and was being pulled towards her. I have no clear memories of what happened, as I was being pulled in to the past and in to her open arms. She got married 3 years back and for reasons known only to the both of us, it devastated me. We fought without any logic or reason, but we inherently knew that we were just fighting with our own inner selves. Now when I look back, I laugh at our immaturity in handling things. No matter how much I deny, it still brings a smile on my lips and I feel really blessed for whatever happened.

   The look at my angel brought a divine smile on my face and time ceased to exist. She was about a hundred meters away, but I could see that nothing much about her changed. Then something remarkable struck me - She was pregnant. I was happy beyond any measure, something which cannot be expressed in words by an ordinary soul like me. When I looked back at the bitterness of the ending, it felt senseless and miniscule. I was tempted to go, stand beside her and wait for her to react. Would she be happy seeing me? Does she even remember me? Only she can answer!

   Nothing in this world is random. Everything happens for a reason and every relation is constructed in heaven - with gods own hands. If only we could realize this and feel blessed, the world would be a much better place.

Prologue:-

   I walked towards her, stood beside her and gazed at the sea. She eventually saw me. What was her reaction? It’s anybody’s guess :)